At Least I'm not a Hooker
by That-deady-Girl
Summary: That's right you guessed it! Who has Daddy issues? This girl, but you'll find out how that goes with a genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist as the ever so absent figure in my life. We've got drama, we've got love (eww) and wouldn't you know it, some trouble in the family. Could always be worse right? Don't worry, I've also got you handled on you're comic relief.
1. Prologue Spell much?

Prologue

You know, I'm not entirely sure where I fucked up, but did I royally. Pretty sure I should have been a blowjob at this point, but we'll get to that later. Speaking of which, that's where dear old daddy-pants comes in. Now, not exactly a heartfelt reunion on the horizon, understandable when you hate someone's entire being, but again I digress. That girl right there? You see her running down that alley way all out of breath, sweating, looking like she's dying because she shouldn't have had that milkshake thirty minutes ago? Yea that's me. Aria. Aria Grey-Stark. My psychic sociopathic mother had a sick sense of humor. Really though? Before Game of Thrones were even a thing? We'll get to that twisted bitch later.

Right now? I'm running and ready to throw up. Always remember kids, if you're going to run for your life, ixnay on the dairy… ay? My pig latin is a little rusty, regular latin is great though, thanks for asking. Oh, wait me! Don't stop and… oh… oh yea, you're tossing all of your cookies right now aren't you… I told you that was a bad idea.

Here I am, getting a second taste of that triple chocolate milkshake I just had to have, being pursued by… now is it Hydra or SHEILD? I had hoped it was Hydra, cause that'd be a hell of a lot better than what's about to happen. A whirring sound caught my attention from the ground, meaning my worst case scenario came to light. Perfect, just perfect.

"You know kid, you could have made this a lot easier on yourself. Triple chocolate milkshake? Bad idea," came the sarcastic voice I came to loathe. "All you have to do is come with me, we'll get you all nice and cleaned up, and just a minor, tiny, miniscule even, interrogation," he paused for a moment, walking closer with loud clanks due to the suit he donned ever so affectionately. "I'll even get you another milkshake, what do you say?" I wretched whatever contents had stayed in my stomach at the mention of more dairy. "I'll take that as a no…"

Yeah, this is not one of my high points. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, the clanking got closer. Looking up, I saw the bottle of water being handed to me. Wobbly at best, I took my stand, taking the water with me. Taking a nice, long swig, I eyed the one and only Tony Stark. Of this universe anyway, I think there's probably an Iron Maiden somewhere, would love to meet her.

"You know… you look really familiar, can't seem to place… What's your name kiddo?" Stark asked, brow furrowed in concentration. Well shit… this is going to get complicated quicker than I expected. Have to think on my feet. "Are you related to a Sylvia Grey by chance? The resemblance is, interestingly uncanny. How old are you again?"

"You sure do like hearing yourself talk don't you?" my voice asked behind him.

"Wait how did you-" he turned to look at my double. Taking advantage as I always love to do, both of us sprinted in opposite directions. "Jarvis, pull up records on Sylvia Grey for me would ya?"

"Fuck!" I cursed as the chase began again. This is NOT how my day was supposed to go. I suppose you're wondering, what the hell is going on? Me too reader, me too. I guess we better start not quite the beginning, we'll have flashbacks for those later, maybe I don't know, a week earlier? I think that could work.

I'm just hoping my story doesn't turn into a mary-sue, shit do I hate those. Damn it, I am aren't I? Really writer? Can't come up with something more original? You're going to make me into a singer aren't you. God damn it do I hate you already. You're going to put me through hell, bring me back, and then send me right back through hell again for your own sick amusement aren't you. Well fuck, could be worse. I could be in that My Immortal story. Now THAT would be a whole different torture all on it's own.

Well. Do your worse. May the odds be forever in my favor? May the force be with me? Do I at least get to see Auntie J&*%? The hell? I can't spoil my own damn story?! Come on! Everyone can already tell by my last name.

Ugh, whatever, just hurry up and write the next chapter already… bitch…


	2. Chapter 1 We run a lot don't we?

Chapter 1

One week prior to the Milkshake. It does not bring all the boys to the yard, I repeat, it does not bring all the boys to the yard.

"Ree, are you ever going to get off that computer of yours?" my roommate huffed in annoyance from my doorway. Her blue eyes staring down at me in one of her bored ways.

"Are you ever going to have a stable boyfriend for more than two weeks?" I challenged back uninterested. She had a bad habit of going through more guys than chewing gum. Speaking of, she kept popping her gum in such a bothersome way, trying to get me out of my room.

"You're so boring, for a genius, you lack a lot of social skills," she rolled her eyes at me. Didn't I know it though? The difference was I didn't care. I had too much research to do. "I thought you already knew everything anyway."

"It's impossible to know everything Janet. Just like it's statistically impossible for you not to have an STD, you have a record to keep, and I have DNA structural analysis to complete, so if you don't mind, I'll be staying home tonight," I quipped back, eyes back on my screen, scanning over the recent updates on the web.

Not taking my insults to heart as always, Janet merely replied with, "You always know the way to my heart Ree, keep talking dirty to me."

"Don't have to, you're dirty enough for the both of us," I continued to scan.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" She laughed.

"Hard to do," I shrugged. "She's kinda dead so." I answered, trying to make things awkward enough for her to leave me alone. That seemed to do the trick when she started to cough and slip out of my room. Waving my hand, I shut the door and locked it. I've had enough interruptions today, thank you. What happened to the snarky girl from the prologue you ask? Don't worry, she's still here. Just focused and busy. I had some reading on genetic mutations to catch up on by Charles Xavier, you don't just interrupt a girl with her word porn. Mine just happened to be science. Having my own mutation gene tends to get most people interested in learning more. Not to mention Xavier's research gave my mind a nice brush up on the things I needed to do.

Right, my own research. You probably want to know what that is right? It's SUPPOSED to be a secret. It had world changing capabilities combining a few of my isolated genetics with some gamma radiation that could cure practically any disease. Why my genetics? Well, I heal people. It's part of my mutation. Wait… shit I'm the cleric in all of this? Damn it all to hell, I'm going to be kidnapped aren't I? The healer is always either kidnapped, hurt, crying, or all of the above. Well shit on a fucking shingle, and I will not watch my fucking language! You made this a T rating remember, fuck.

Any who's it what's it, funding for this program was done through me, and my savings account. If you can speak more than four languages, apparently you're an asset to the translating process and can get lots of money. What? Normal people don't learn languages when they're bored? You people are weird.

Just so happened, one of those translating jobs ended poorly, and almost got me killed. Fucking Hydra and their no witnesses policy. They should really get that reviewed, I mean, how else are you supposed to get high quality anymore if you keep killing it? Needless to say, I had to make myself disappear from their records with a simple hack job, and now SHEILD seems to have some questions for me. Ha! Like I'd ever go do that willingly.

Now you may be wondering what that whole scene with Janet was about. Don't worry getting there. I just need to grab my flash drive, duffle bag, hop and a skip out the window down the fire escape, then boom! Towards freedom. Hearing a crack, I looked back toward the window, smirk plastered on my face.

"FREEEZE GREY!" Janet, actually her name isn't really Janet, but I'll probably keep calling her that anyway.

"Sorry Hill! Not happening! Don't worry, I know you aren't really a slut! Good job portraying one though!" I yelled back, already moving down the alley toward the crowded street in New York. Slipping effortlessly into the crowd, I pulled my hood up and walked toward my next destination: A computer shop! I'm going to need to hack into SHEILD for that file now too. Stupid Hydra, stupid SHEILD, and why on earth did my future seeing mother have to be right about EVERYTHING? So I might have more than daddy issues going on, don't worry, you'll understand it soon enough.

"Hey Specs, how we looking?" I fidget with the com piece in my ear.

"Miss Ree, two SHEILD agents at your four o' clock, and two more at nine o' clock," my AI answered for me.

I can't help but smile with pride, while pulling out my palm pilot to make it look like I talked to the phone instead. "Thatta girl, do they notice me?"

"Communications say that they're still looking for you. Miss Hill has said some colorful things," Specs replied in her robotic tone.

"Awe, no I love YOU more!" I said in a high pitched giggle, walking past one of the men in a black suit.

"Crisis averted Miss Ree, if you take a right on the corner, you'll be able to catch the subway without further chase," Specs ignored my queasy show of affection to her. Ah I love my AI, can we do a cheesy flashback to me making her when I was ten?

*Flashback*

Little ten-year-old Ree holding her first welding pen to her very first AI creation to help her in homework and needs. Okay so it's a little anti-climactic, but hey, making Artificial intelligence was a big step toward all of my genius. Geez.

*Present*

Stepping off the subway, I made my way carefully up the stairs and looked around my surroundings. Contemplating in my head, I asked my trustful AI's opinion on my next step.

"What do you think Specs? Would it be easier to escape a computer store or a library? I'm thinking library with all of the helpful shelves to hide behind, plus those crazy librarians that always Shush people when they're too loud," I thought to her outloud.

"The library has better odds of slipping out unnoticed, with several points of exit. You will need to boost the internet speeds first unless you plan to delete your files on dial up," she replied with the snark I programed her with. "Or Miss Ree, you could always talk to your father, the probability that he knew of your existence is slim at best."

"I don't remember programing you to talk about him," I grumbled, slightly miffed that my creation gave out personal advice. "Don't tell me how to live my life!" I replied again in a dramatic voice.

"Perks of being an artificial intelligence. I gather information for you constantly, and you did decide to give me a motherly form did you not?" Specs questioned in my ear. I rolled my eyes at her accurate deduction. Skipping up the stairs, I quickly made my way toward the computer room at the vast library. Books upon books, upon rows and rows of shelves. Were those made out of oak? That's pretty cheap, should have went with something more grand. Can they make giant shelves out of marble? That'd be pretty cool. If only I had time to read everything, I'd be in heaven. For now, less day-dreamy, more hacky.

Sitting down at the computer furthest away, I set to work. "Alright Specs, give me a time-frame on when I need to book it."

"Judging by the activity over the communications, you have ten minutes," She told me. Can a robot sound exasperated?

"Great plenty of time!" I react with sarcasm. Really it had been enough time hacking wise, but exiting without being noticed could be an issue. Setting to work, it didn't take long to delete my file in the SHEILD database, but they only problem had been when the Black Sabbath song Iron Man played through the speakers at an alarming noise range. "Specs!" I hissed.

"What is it you always say? I didn't do it," she answered. "It appears Jarvis has been residing in their system, awaiting your inevitable attack on their system."

"Shit, fuck, shitty fuck fuck," I moan, grabbing my stuff and taking off in a run. So much for sneak in and out. I could hear the librarian from the counter Shhhhh me, but I had run out of time. Pulling on another one of my inventions over my hands, I sprinted to the exit. Running out the back door, I thought, hey maybe I'll be okay, maybe I'm home free. Nope, not in my range of luck. I don't think karma likes me very much. Can't imagine why, I mean I like to help people. I only had to steal some stuff once, but that was out of necessity.

A hand reached out and snagged the hood to my jacket, causing me to lurch back and give a gag to the pressure on my throat. Don't be him, don't be him, don't be him.

"You know, you're causing quite a fuss at headquarters. So much so they wanted me to come pick you up, any idea why Miss…." A well-mannered voice asked from behind me. Oh thank god, it's just American Popsicle.

"Grey, and no idea, I just like computers, so if you could just put me down, that'd be great. My esophagus would really appreciate it," I wheezed. Stevie Wonders seemed to look surprised for a moment and set me down.

"Sorry, you're kinda fast. Now, if you would just come with me quietly, we won't have a problem," he gestured with his hands.

Taking a moment to breathe again, I smiled up at him. "Well, what can I say? I didn't get to have my rebellious stage yet, so I figured, better late than never!" Taking my element of surprise to my advantage, I hit my palm to his sternum, sending a shockwave that brought him to his knees. It won't give me a lot of time, but if he loses sight of me, I should be 'home' free. It won't last long, after all he is Captain-freaking- America. "Specs, roll me!" I cried out, dashing forward. On cue, wheels popped out of my shoes, and off I was again. You know, kind of like wheelies, but cooler. What do you mean you don't know what wheelies are? How young are you?!

"Really Specs? You couldn't warn me about Captain Ahab?" I complained through the wind in my face.

"To be fair, he wasn't mentioned over communications," Specs explained. That means they're catching onto my tricks, This… doesn't look good. "No, it doesn't Miss Ree. Might I suggest turning me off as to not leave any possible variables open?"

"Get out of my head Specs!" I muttered dramatically as always. "Alright, power down. I know where to go from here," I sighed. This might hurt a little. I grabbed onto a semi-truck, making its way to the Queensboro Bridge, nearly yanking my arm out of its socket. Hoping up onto the ledge, I opened the cab just enough to roll under, grunting as I hit a hard pallet. Might as well doze while I'm here, it's been a long day. Plus, I get to seem my dream boyfriend. It's weird and kinda complicated, and it's probably not even real, but hey, at least it's something right?

*back to the cap! Dun dun duuuuuuh*

Steve Rogers stood up slowly, his muscles slowly stopping in their contractions. "What the heck was that?" he muttered to himself in disbelief. He thought it was a simple suspect pick up, he didn't even think he'd be needed and it'd be a large waste of time and resources. After that, he couldn't help but think he might have underestimated the situation.

"Come home Cap, we've lost her," he heard the familiar voice over his communications device.

"That fast? I thought she's just a civilian? What's going on here Fury?" Steve questioned heatedly, and rightfully so. I mean, come on, a common civilian? At least recognize my genius! Right sorry, this is with Captain Underpants, not me. Continue.

"We'll discuss this in your debriefing Rogers. There's some things I need to tell you," Fury stated in that mysterious no more questions voice. Don't you hate it when he does that? I cannot wait to be one of the biggest thorns in his side.

Well, what are you waiting for? Write the next chapter dingus, I have a dream date to get to!


	3. Chapter 2 This is Normal Right

Chapter 2 This is Normal Right?

I awoke from my short nap in the back of the truck, remembering my dilemma. I had a nice visit with the man of my dreams, doing the usual talking as I always did. In my dreams I'm a lot nicer, especially with someone that's been in them for years. Is it sick to say I have feelings for someone that doesn't actually exist? I guess it's easier that way, can't be hurt or let down by someone that isn't there to begin with. Plus he's always there in my dreams. He has his own issues (weird since it's my dream) but those icy blue eyes always seem to draw me in. Conversations never bore me with him. While he doesn't have the same intelligence, he has the street smarts and he'd tell me things about his childhood. The mutual reminiscence seemed to bring us together, and I didn't ever see the harm in talking to a random, incredibly attractive, man in my own dreams. I thought it had its therapeutic advantages. Plus he liked my toned down sense of humor most of the time. I mean who doesn't? He just seems to appreciate it more.

I don't talk to a lot of people, I figure this dream guy is a good thing. At least now, the social sim bar in my menu is full. Enough talk about people that don't actually exist… how far down that rabbit hole I've fallen… continue on with the story. You might get the juicier side of these dream later, writer pending approval. From what I can tell, she's not huge into writing smutt, so might need to give her some encouragement, wink wink, nudge nudge. Ya know what I'm sayin'.

Now that that's out of my system, and I've bared one of my many secrets to you, back to my usual self! Snarky, sarcastic, salty, and ever so slightly full of myself demeanor. What can I say? Own what you are.

Feeling the familiar breaking that came with the stopping in a trailer, I waved my hand to unlock the back to jump out before the guy driving noticed. I had to think things through, otherwise everything would end up exactly like my mother told me. The bright sun nearly blinded me jumping out of the back of a still slowly moving truck, causing me to stumble a bit. I can have my clutzy moments thank you! Looking around I could see we had crossed the bridge and then some. My biggest concern was cover. Taking a look around my surroundings, an abandoned looking building looked like my safest bet.

Casually strolling over, I had to make sure no one saw me enter. The musty, moldy smell wafted through my nostrils, telling me it had been abandoned for quite a while. Stray graffiti here and there decorating the walls, nothing out of the ordinary. All seemed well. Perfect place to eat a lunch and think.

Alright, I'm going to pause this right here. I'd like to point things out with a big red marker because I figured out where I royally fucked up.

Remember this right here? Right before I jumped out of the window, reading up on some genetics research, doing my own thing? HUGE mistake number one! Well I guess two if you count the trouble I had gotten myself into with Hydra in the first place, but other than that the fixing of said problem mistakes. You get what I mean, there's methods to this madness, I swear.

Riiiiight here! You see that? See that computer I left behind? Yea, that's no Bueno. Neit Goed. Jo mire. Pas bien. Gan Dea. Any other ways you want me to say not good?

Mistake number two, is about to happen here in a minute while I think about my next move. Anyway, continue.

Finding the cleanest place to sit, I pulled out my delicious tuna sandwich I had prepared just for such an occasion. My mind kept going back to that Iron Man song playing loudly through the speakers. That cocky asshole! Now I'm not one for revenge, well who am I kidding against that man it ran through my blood to be the biggest pain in his ass that I could hope for. My daddy issues game was strong.

^^^ Here, right Here. Second mistake. I'm such a dumbass.

Mulling it over, a smirk pulled at my lips. Oh yea, I have the perfect plan. For now, I need to lay low at least a couple of days, then I can get back at that big headed iron shit head. Well… at least I was smart enough to wait a week? Attempt to fall off the radar?

Ugh, phase two of stupidity is go.

"Triple chocolate milkshake please!" I happily tell the ice cream man at the dairy queen down the street from my target. Deadpool had his chimichanga's, I have my chocolate and coffee. No judgements. Going over the plan in my head, I decided to boot up Specs again. I can't do this without my trusty AI.

"Miss Ree? I can see you're close to one of the Branches of Stark Enterprises. Do you have a plan?" the feminine voice questioned me like I had initially programed her.

"I'm going to hack Mr. Stark. I need to return the favor from last week," I replied to her quietly, drinking my milkshake quickly.

"Do you think that wise Miss Ree?" Spec's questioned yet again.

"Nope, too pissed to care. I need you to keep his handy dandy Artificial Intel busy while I do what I need to do," I explained confidently. If I'm gonna do it, that's how it has to be done. Walking into the bathroom, I attempted to psyche myself up. Splashing water on my face, I couldn't help but notice how grungy I had become. Dark brown Hair up in a ponytail, some grease spots here and there from lack of showers, a smear of grease across my cheek, dust all over my jean jacket and hoodie. Good news, the dark circles under my chocolatey brown eyes barely showed. So, there's always that.

There you go, your obligatory character description. Let your imagination do the rest, but uh, I'm kinda a badass, so go ahead and imagine in a nose ring and a few piercing on my ears. Doesn't hurt. Not the bull ring kind of nose ring though, I don't need to be drug around by that thing ew.

Giving my cheeks a hard slap (both of them), my neck a crack, and my back a stretch, I felt as ready as I could be. Throwing up my hood, I strode out of the dairy queen out onto the sidewalk. Casually sauntering up to the Stark building, I leaned against the wall, trying to keep my cool. This? Not my best idea. Going to be hilarious? Definitely. Worth it? well… we'll get to that. I pulled out my palm pilot. Basically a hand held computer with my modifications.

"You ready Specs?" I asked, slight shake in my voice.

"As long as you are Miss Lee."

"Rock on," I smirked.

So began the stupidest decision of my life so far. I hacked into the Stark towers through their wifi connection. Didn't take too long to get the password for that. IAmIronMan. Real original. So the fun began. Typically speaking I found the file he had started to conduct on me through his own personal investigation, almost getting sidetracked by his defense system. Thanks to Specs, she distracted it long enough for me to change just enough details that he wouldn't find out anything. Of course, I couldn't help but leave behind my own message for him. Lovely ACDC song called Big Balls. Personal favorite so naturally, I couldn't resist.

"Miss Ree, I fear the intelligence system JARVIS is over run-run-run-run," I could hear the skip in Specs auto tone.

"Fuuuuuck," I sigh. Now is the time to run. Now, normally, I'd say do the whole walk away casually thing, but what I hadn't expected stared me down right across the street from me. Brown eyes through his probably expensive sunglasses staring me down, with his stupid perfectly groomed hair. He definitely saw me. The hairs standing up on the back of my neck sending my fight or flight instinct into overdrive. At this point, flight seemed the better option.

Hitting a button on my palm pilot, the wheels shot out of my personalized combat boots. Much easier to hide tech in these things then you'd think. Off I went. Running from Iron Man might be a bit harder than I imagined. After rolling around a corner, the tech in my boots shut off, making the wheels retract. My body on the other hand, kept rolling forward. Breath knocked out of me, I couldn't help but see something zoom out through the sky, leaving a wisp of smoke behind it, almost like a jet. To the untrained eye I'm sure it seemed that way, I knew better. This made my running slightly more complicated.

"I suggest you surrender," an unfamiliar British voice spoke through my private ear piece.

"Ah, you must be JARVIS. That pretentious dick would make an AI with a British accent. What did you do to Specs?" I asked harshly, deciding on which alley to run down. Quick thinking told me left, so I began sprinting. Can I find a manhole or something? I'd prefer the sewer and whatever gators could be down there at the moment to what waited me up here.

"Your precious Specs is simply detained. If you ask nice enough, you might get her back," that pompous voice I only knew from television voiced into my ear.

"Don't suppose you checked out what I did yet did you?" I ignored him with the curious, slightly out of breath reply. No use in hiding it at this point.

"I figured you could show me yourself, but if you're so adamant about it," he trailed off just in time for Big Balls to play loud enough into his ear I heard it in my own. "Cute kid. How far do you think you're going to get without your adorable gadgets to get past everyone?" I really wanted to beat the condescending tone out of his voice.

"Probably as far as your arrogance gets you," I retort back. Here's where the milkshake didn't agree with me. Here we go again, shit's about to be in real time.

"Ouch, I always thought it was my genius and charm that got me far," he bantered back. "Feeling okay there kiddo? You seem to be slowing down."

"If it was your charm, you'd be at home on your mom's couch playing world of Warcraft."

"Is that so, I think all of the women I slept with would beg to differ?"

"Well, I heard there was a lot of alcohol involved. Ten's a Two and Two's a Ten logic there."

"Well don't you have an answer for everything?" He patronized back.

Nope, hit my limit on running. Running bad. Milkshakes bad. Kill… me… Once again we arrive at the scene of a very sorry excuse of an athletic specimen vomiting her guts out from her third mistake of the week. Triple. Chocolate. Milkshake.

"You know kid, you could have made this a lot easier on yourself. Triple chocolate milkshake? Bad idea," came the sarcastic voice I came to loathe. "All you have to do is come with me, we'll get you all nice and cleaned up, and just a minor, tiny, miniscule even, interrogation," he paused for a moment, walking closer with loud clanks due to the suit he donned ever so affectionately. "I'll even get you another milkshake, what do you say?" I wretched whatever contents had stayed in my stomach at the mention of more dairy. "I'll take that as a no…"

Yeah, this is not one of my high points, but you knew that already. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, the clanking got closer. Looking up, I saw the bottle of water being handed to me. Wobbly at best, I took my stand, taking the water with me. Taking a nice, long swig, I eyed the one and only Tony Stark.

"You know… you look really familiar, can't seem to place… What's your name kiddo?" Stark asked, brow furrowed in concentration. Well shit… this is going to get complicated quicker than I expected. Have to think on my feet. "Are you related to a Sylvia Grey by chance? The resemblance is, interestingly uncanny. How old are you again?"

"You sure do like hearing yourself talk don't you?" my voice asked behind him.

"Wait how did you-" he turned to look at my double. Taking advantage as I always love to do, both of us sprinted in opposite directions. "Jarvis, pull up records on Sylvia Grey for me would ya? And can you give me a hand on which is which?"

"Fuck!" I cursed as the chase began again. This is NOT how my day was supposed to go. That fucker already knew what I was going to do!

Pause again. Remember number one mistake? That had a little something to do with it. He had already had a location on me two days ago. Ain't that a kick in the ass? Anyway, continue.

"The one behind you is the real one sir, she has the functioning palm pilot."

Really asshole? You couldn't even pretend I could get away even for a second? Not even two seconds later, I felt myself get scooped up from behind, held tightly in the metal arms of the last person I wanted to be around right now.

"You and me little girl have a loooooong conversation ahead of us," now grumpy Mc'Iron panties told me sternly from my currently stuck place.

"Don't suppose you want to just drop me off at SHEILD and go back to whatever you had planned to day do you?" I suggested. Don't figure it out, don't figure it, out don't figure-

"Oh I don't think so, probable long lost daughter. You get to explain to me where you came from, how and why not only SHEILD but Hydra are hunting you down," all humor gone. Who knew he could be serious.

"Well you see, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, the daddy inserts his-"

"And stop right there! There's no way you got that mouth from your mother," he chided me. The hell does he think he is?

"What can I say? I grew into it after fifteen," I hissed back at him, starting to lose my temper.

"Are all kids like this now adays? Or are we just getting into your rebellious stage late?" he huffed, coming to a stop at a secluded condo farther away from anything than I expected. Can I take that Hydra cell instead? Please? I don't want the awkward conversation about to come. Anything! Anything but this, I'm beggggging you. Don't make me whine and plead miss author ma'am. Please?

"Could have been worse Stark. I could have been a hooker, and then came out as your daughter. Just barely managed to scrape by the daddy issues on that one, what a relief!" I gave him an exaggerated wipe of the forehead after he set me down.

The face mask on his suit came up, revealing him rolling his eyes in frustration. "Come on, you can take a shower, then we'll talk. You smell like you've been on the run for over a week."

"Really? I was thinking daisies. I could be wrong," I replied back with my usual sarcasm. I'm fairly certain that's the main language I know out of all that I learned. He led me through his house, into what I assumed to be his vast expanse of a room, and into the bathroom. "Why this bathroom?" I questioned, eyebrow raised.

"No window, and I can hang out in my own room while you clean up. I already have some clothes for you on the way, and I'll get yours washed. Unless of course, you'd prefer to get clean then put on those filthy things again," he added in his own sarcasm. Am I really related to this guy? Seriously? "No escape this time sweetheart. Now get comfortable, this is going to be a nice, long, informative chat. Less snark and sarcasm this time."

"Or, now hear me out here, or you could drop me off, out of your vicinity and into the probably not so loving and caring hands of SHEILD or Hydra, honestly I don't even care which at this point," I tried again, dreading everything that could happen in the next three hours or so, depending on how long I stay in that shower.

"Cute. Get in the shower or we'll just have this conversation now," He tried again. Is that… is he trying to parent me right now? Honestly?!

Oh hell yes I'm using all of his freaking hot water. ALL. OF. IT. This mother fucker, thinking he can just guess, then go daddy mode? Oh no no no no no no honey. You have another thing coming. That's going to be after this shower though… I really missed those.

Instead of beating the ever loving shit out of him like I screamed in my mind to do, I simple gave him a mock salute, and added, "Yes Sir, Mister Iron Panties Sir!" Then march straight into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

The hell did I get myself into now? Seriously, can't a girl catch a break? I only have good intentions, honest.


	4. Chapter 3 The Birds and The Bees

Chapter 3 The Birds and the Bees

"Hey Jarvis, can you do me a favour?" Tony asked his favorite invention next to his suit. He paced nervously around his room, wearing down his carpet. He couldn't help but toss his favorite stress ball up and down to help with his thinking. "Run some facial recognition stats, get me her real birthday, and see if her mother is Sylvia Grey or not? I'd rather be sure than assume." Yeah! Past coming back to bite you in the ass? Bet that feels like a kick to the taint.

"Accessing records."

" _Do you believe in life after love?!"_ My voice sang through the door, hitting his ears like a mac truck. Oh good, I'm not a siren of the deep that can bring in unsuspecting sailors to their doom… actually that sounds awesome, can't I just be an over powered mary-sue anyway? I mean my powers aren't that awesome, and I rely on my amazing genius more than anything. " _I can feel something inside me saaaaaaAAAAAy I really don't THINK I'M STRONG ENOUGH NOOOOOOO!"_ The off key sound bounced through the walls. If they were animate they'd break something. My only hope to knock out the billionaire playboy vanished when I came to the conclusion: No. Bad singing cannot hurt anyone indefinitely.

"That voice she definitely got from her mother," Tony's face twitched at every wrong note. "Jarvis, remind me to get her singing lessons."

"Sir, the only untampered file is a birth certificate. Aria Carbonell Grey. Born October 29th 1991. No father on the birth certificate, mother Sylvia Lana Grey," Jarvis inputted merely seconds later.

Tony furrowed his brows together, concentrating on his memories. When was the last time he saw Sylvia? He remembered roughly around eighteen years. It had been a bad time for him that year. His parents died in a car accident, and after a while with the mix of alcohol and drugs, some of the time seemed a little fuzzy.

"Not very subtle on the Carbonell, Syl. HEY! You take longer than an hour in there and I'll assume you're escaping. Jarvis can turn off the hot water from here!" Tony shouted through the bathroom door. He only heard more off key singing as a response. For a moment, he let everything sink in. THE Tony Stark, billionaire playboy philanthropist, made a life. He didn't even know about it or had a chance to see her grow up. Well, better late than never. She was only eighteen so, he had a few years to play with. ( Miss author might have said twenty-four, but miss author is a lie!)

Tony Stark was not his cold, condescending father, and damn it, he intended to prove it, whether she liked it or not. Oh come on, really? He can't just send me on my way? I don't even want his money! Specs better hold back on that 'I told you so', otherwise someone's getting a nice software update.

Stepping out of the bathroom, hair wet, new fresh but oddly plain clothes donned, my eyes fell on the bane of my existence. Also creator, but those are semantics.

"Have a nice shower?" he asked me from his bed. Without letting me answer, he continued, "You know, that's an adorable program you have. What'd you call it? Specs? Could definitely use an upgrade in her firewall, mainframe, and overall matrix." He flashed a cocky smile, trying to bait me. Jerk.

"Well, I made her when I was ten so," I trailed, obvious annoyance in my voice. Sighing, I tried once to bargain more. "Listen, I don't want your money, I don't want anything from you, I just want to continue working on my ressearch and gadgets like I used to be able to. If you need to drop me off at SHEILD for questioning and detainment fine." I know I say either or, but really, I know what Hydra does, not something I'd want to get into. Not that I already wasn't.

"You see, I don't trust SHEILD nearly as much as you do. I can already tell you, you aren't going to be safe there. Now tell me, how the hell did you get mixed in with Hydra?" He questioned, brow raised.

"Funny story there, that was an accident," I attempted a half-hearted laugh, rubbing the back of my neck. No really, it was. How could I have known that translating job would lead to me being hunted down?

"Accident? That's like saying I 'accidently' slept with your mother," he scoffed, arms crossed.

"HA! Well you definitely 'accidently' forgot a condom," I rebuttled with bunny ear quotes. He's not going to out sarcasm me. That's my thing jackass. Before we could go any further into the debate of my existence and life choices, a tall, professional dressed woman walked into his room.

"Tony, where have you bee-" she trailed, taking in the site of me. "Tony, she seems pretty young don't you think?" she concluded, a silent fury bubbling underneath her tone. Trust me, I can tell jealous girlfriend tones.

"Pepper, meet my illegitimate daughter, Aria. Aria, meet Pepper, my new CEO of Stark Industries, and girlfriend. By the way, do you have any business knowledge Aria?" He used as a Segway to me again. Why does he want to know that? Is he trying to trip me up?

"Sorry, I'm all science. Masters in human biology, minor in computer sciences. Plus, a bachelors in engineering. Have to be able to make stuff too you know?" I spout out automatically, taking pride in myself.

"Oh well, I'll get some legal documents put together and put you in my Will, just have to change a couple things around," he dismissed me. The hell? Oh, I get it, he thinks he's dying. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Holding my hand out in an inconspicuous manner, I let my powers feel Mr. Stark out. There's a problem with his arc reactor keeping the metal shards from entering his heart. From what I can tell they'll be fairly easy to remove, he's just having a mortality crisis. He needs to do it soon, they should have been poisoning him by now to be frank. Shrapnel isn't exactly the most sanitary thing to have near the thing that pumps blood all through your cardiovascular system and oxygenates all of your cells.

"D-daughter?!" Pepper stuttered. "Are you sure? Have you done a paternity test?" she asked him flabbergasted, ignoring me. This is off to a great start.

"No need," I shrug. "I'm not here by choice anyway." I sigh running my hand over my face. "Look, I'm not here for his money, I want to be here as much as he wanted me in the first place. Trust me, I know from firsthand experience that's really not a great abundance of want. Now, Iron panties, where's your lab? Let's get those things out of your chest and stabilize your core reactor huh? No more of this mortality crisis you got going on. It doesn't suit you."

Tony looked confused for a moment, eye brows knitted together. "What's that supposed to mean? And wait, how do you know about my shrapnel?"

"Less talky more labby. I'm a woman of science, you want to talk more, fine, but can we at least do this in an environment I'm comfortable with?" I walk past him looking around. Really, really, did not want to talk to him, but it was going to happen at this point. I'm a little confused with everything myself. He's acting like he's never heard of me. I remember the phone call my mom made. I remember his reaction. What's going on here? Author, the hell did you do? What are you doing?! STOOOOP. I'm supposed to hate him!

"Uh, Pepper, I know this is a lot to take in, and since you're new to the party, things are going to get even weirder, you might want to go lay down, or at least sit down with a glass of water when we get to the lab. Your blood pressure seems to have plummeted after your initial cortisol reaction from the rage wore off. It happens," I added to his girlfriend.

"And you doubted she's mine," Tony smirked, somewhat prideful. Can I punch him? Pepper just seemed to gape like a fish for a moment, unsure of what just happened.

"Shut it captain silver spoon. I'm still not happy to be here," I snap, pushing past him attempting to locate his lab. I know he has one. Probably in his garage… with his fancy expensive cars… rich snarky bastard.

"Sounds like someone needs her beddy bye time," he replied, with smirk, getting ahead of me, leading me to, you guessed it, his garage. I could only roll my eyes at the shear cliché rich man with his toys moment. Coming to the bench, I saw more finalizations to the infamous Stark Towers that has been in the process of being built. The possibilities seemed limitless. I had to hand it to him, at least he's using his brains for good now.

Cracking my knuckles, I call out, "Jarvis, do me a favor and pull up a full body scan of mister Iron Jock strap here."

"Those are going to be never ending aren't they? Oh and don't order my Jarvis around, only I can do that," he quipped back as Jarvis did the scan anyway.

"Oh definitely. Miss Pepper, you might want to sit down now," I add. "Are those glasses over there clean?" I ask. Not waiting for an answer, I used my telekinesis to pick up a glass, turn on the water and hand it to her in the air.

"Thank you Aria, but I don't-" she paused, processing what just happened. Immediately she sat down and sipped on her water.

"You know, that is a great segway into my questions young lady. What was that? And earlier, how can you astro project like that? What else can you do? Jarvis, when you're done scanning me, scan little miss know it all over here too," He waved his finger at me.

Setting to work on his readings I reply, "Genetics. I have specific mutated genes passed down through my family, giving us these fun abilities to play around with. Between my Aunt Jean and my mother, I got telekinesis, astral projection, I guess you can say 'healing' but really it just gives dead cells connected to living cells a jump start back into production, speeding up their molecular replacement rates. In short I can heal wounds, but I cannot bring people back from the dead. The last one is more of a defense mechanism really. I haven't been able to fully comprehend how it works as I don't have full control over it. It's only happened a few times, but that's not the point."

"Healing?" Pepper questioned from her seat.

Finally, I just rolled my eyes, walked closer to the sperm donor, and placed one hand over his heart. Readying my other hand, I warn, "This is going to smart, but just for a second, promise." He raised his eyebrows in alarm, but it was too late, with the hand poised, I telekinetically ripped the shards from his chest, making them travel strategically around all vital organs (those were messy to heal even with this fun genetic mutation). In the same motion, I simultaneously healed what was torn.

"SONOFA-" he grunted in the sudden pain in his chest, only to find it gone again. "Warn a guy next time would ya?" Looking through the holes in his shirt, he noticed he didn't even get a chance to bleed. No wounds, or even scars were left behind. It was like it never happened. "Huh… well that was… simple… Hey Jarvis I don't suppose you got that did you? I'll need that for later."

"Of course sir," came the bodiless reply.

I paused for a moment, then finally get myself to ask quietly, "Why are you acting like you didn't know I existed?" Sass gone for the moment, not wanting to make the mistake of being vulnerable in front of this… dick face, I decide I regretted it immediately. "You know what? Never mind. You said you weren't letting me leave right? Can I go to bed now? I always feel a little tired after healing someone." He searched my eyes for a moment. He must have seen the onset of my exhaustion and took pity on me. Not that I need it… because you know, gotta keep up with that teenage rebellious angst thing right?

"Okay sparky. We can talk in the morning, you can sleep in my room tonight, and I'll get started on getting a room around for you here," he answered. I must have used more energy than I thought. I merely began walking like a zombie back toward his room, nearly stumbling a few steps later. He merely swooped in, which by the way, swooping is bad, and picked me up like I was nothing. "Geez kiddo, if this is what it takes to get you to calm down, I'll just have to start giving you people to heal huh?" he tried to joke. I could barely lift my hand to smack his chest, so it was a limp *meh* at best. Sometimes I'll end up expending so much energy I start feeling like I'm drunk.

Pause kiddies! While I, Aria Grey adore alcohol in all of its loveliness to make a ten a two and a two a ten, little miss PRISS PANTIES behind the keyboard would like me to point out to you, underage drinking is bad, drugs are bad, and do as she says not as she does. MMKAY! Also are we really doing this already? I am not emotionally prepared for the upcoming shit. I mean sure, there's a loooot of fucking story left but holy flaming fuck balls you're trying to progress this father thing quickly. Is it cause I call you a bitch? It is isn't it? Well OBVIOUSLY I'm in too deep now to turn back so… bitch…

"Please don't hurt me again…" I mumble against his shoulder, a tear escaping my eye. OH COME ON! I take it back! He isn't supposed to know! No one is!

"I'm gonna try my damndest sweets. Now just sleep okay? I'll take care of everything," he whispers, laying me down gentle. Barely registering anything other than soft cottony goodness, what is the thread count on these sheets? Like billion with the wool from the sheep of an ancient nomadic civilization? I passed out within seconds. "Hey Jarvis, let me know if she tries to leave, or someone tries to get in?" he asked the ceiling.

"Very well sir," the dutiful british voice replied.

Yeah, like all of that's going to happen Stark. I know better by now. You think I'm being hard on him don't you? Well you don't know the things I know. I'm sure if little miss author behind her keyboard here decides to get her shit together and actually write on a schedule, you readers are going to find out. Then you'll see why I have so much misdirected rage at him.

Tony ran a hand over his face, still thinking of the day. A daughter. THE Tony Stark had offspring and he still couldn't wrap his mind around it, even while it stared him in the face. Pepper let the information absorb it's self into her own thoughts.

"How old is she?" Pepper asked quietly, even though she knew she was far enough out of earshot.

"Eighteen," he sighed back. "So much I've missed... JARVIS, give me information on Slyvia Grey. She kept her from me and I want to know why. Where is she anyway? Letting her run around, taking jobs from Hydra."

The robotic replied with a regretful tone, "My apologies Mr. Stark. It appears there's a death certificate dating October 29th of 2004."

Eyes wide with untold regret, Tony in an uncharacteristically shaky voice asked, "How?" Pulling up an old newspaper article onto his holo screen, the headline read APARTMENT BUILDING UP IN FLAMES, TEN DEAD. "All right JARVIS, I need you to go back through and fix her files. I need to know more about her, where she's been, all the way to her favorite color and food, where she graduated. I need to know it all." He paused thoughtfully, at this point mainly talking to himself, "What did she mean by again?"

HOLD UP! You hold it right there miss author, typing away furiously. Favorite color? Really? You're going to try to make me not hate him aren't you? No, FUCK YOU! I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME! Ha, get the song reference there. Get it? Sigh, fine, continue along...

"When was the last time you talked to Slyvia?" Pepper asked, trying her best to be supportive. This whole thing floored her as much, if not more than, it did him.

"December, sometime in 1998 if I remember right, but she never mentioned a daughter! I think I would remember that Pepper," He searched his memories. He distinctly remembered a phone call from Slyvia, but it had nothing to do with the girl sleeping soundly in his room. "No, no I remember. She had called alright, but she asked if I wanted to be part of some sort of genetic experiment. I don't and never will play God with genetics like she wanted to… I don't understand…" he trailed frustrated. Losing his temper for a moment, he threw one of his many tools at his expensive cars.

"It's not your fault Tony," Pepper tried to soothe.

"I could have been there Pepper! When she was all alone when her mom died, for her first words, all of it! I wasn't the only one robbed here. How do I even begin to make up for lost time?" he, the great and all mighty Tony Stark, sat defeated in his chair for a moment.

"You just have to be there for her now I guess. Better late and to try than to just let it go right?" Pepper said after a moment. Firstly, you shut your whore mouth Miss Potts! Secondly, she's handling everything pretty well honestly.

"You're right Pep. Thanks, for dealing with more of this craziness with me," he replied, standing up to give her a light kiss in appreciation. He would probably do more, but dear God author, that's my father, I don't want to see that!

"Sir, I rebooted up her Artificial Intelligence Program. Specs has informed me she can help fill in whatever blanks you need," the British accent interrupted the intimate moment just in time. You go Vision! I err, I mean JARVIS. Spoiler alert?

"Good job Jarv, now, it's going to be a long night, Pep, feel free to go to bed in the guest room, one of us should be up early in case she gets cold feet and runs off again," Tony instructed, jumping up into motion. So many things to do, so little time.


End file.
